True Blood Snark-Cap - Episode 5.8: Somebody I Used to Know

The premise of this week’s True Blood episode was basically this: High on ancient vampire blood, the vampires decide to go for complete and total world domination. Apparently, that is our big payoff for this torturously dull season. A vampire war on humans. *yawn*

Uh, okay… 

Anyway, I had a very hard time even mustering the energy to snark-cap this episode—I kept spacing out while watching and having to rewind. Oh, and one of my dogs decided that he hates the show and demonstrated his displeasure by growling at the television. I am not even joking. 

Obviously, the following “analysis” contains spoilers for Sunday’s episode of True Blood. If you haven’t seen it and want to remain free from spoilage, please don’t continue reading. Instead, I suggest checking out this list of sports-themed novels to get you in the Olympic spirit or Rebeca’s memorable reads from the first half of this year for some great reading recommendations.

Yeah, we’re confused too, Sam.

Thoughts & Reaction

• Ladies and gentlemen, we have a “sexual content” warning! Is this the first one of the season?
• Luna (I’m so impressed with myself that I finally remember her name) is so effing annoying. What on earth is the purpose of her character? So we can know more about the shifters? Did we need to know more about the shifters? Uh, no. 

Bill’s got to be standing on a box in this shot.

• I am so over this Bill-Eric bromance. (Yet another bit of tension they’ve removed from this season. This season is wholly tensionless.)
• Sookie needs to STFU with her whining about how hard it is to be a psychic half fairy. 
• So Luna accidentally shifted to look like Sam? Why? Huh? *yawn*
• Who is this random werewolf woman Alcide is gettin’ busy with?
• Alcide’s ass just made an appearance, FYI.

Bill’s boring in the olden days too. SHOCKER!

• Bill flashback. *yawn*
• FYI: My dog actually growled at the TV during the Bill angsting over his dying daughter scene.  

*yawn*

• I get the metaphorical statement they’re trying to make with this supernatural hate crime plot, but it’s just so heavy-handed and ineffective.
• Oh, for eff’s sake… back at the fairy bar.
• I am sorry this snark-cap sucks, y’all… I keep spacing out. 

Two Sams?! *shudder*

• Yes, we really needed two Sams. *eye roll*
• Anyone else notice how they’re not even trying to make the setting look like Louisiana this season?
• Is anyone else rooting for Jessica to kill Hoyt? Am I terrible?

I am pretending this didn’t happen.

• I’m officially ignoring the storylines related to Terry, Arlene and Lafayette. 
• WTF? The werewolves are going to do a Most Dangerous Game-style hunt? 

Pam’s hair, FTW!

• Finally, Pam is bringing the badass. 
• Yes, Bill, blowing up the True Blood factories sounds like it’ll work out really well. 
• I never understand Bill’s decision-making on this show. All the choices he makes seem entirely random, like he’s flipping a coin.

“Listen you white trash fucktwat.”

—Tara

“You don’t know me that well. My mad face and my happy face are the same.”

—Pam