I am intensely phobic of both shopping and crowds. Therefore, on the long American Thanksgiving weekend, I usually hide in my house avoiding both.

Now, I could spend this time catching up on my reading or—gasp!—blogging, but invariably, I watch movies. I miss a lot of flicks the first time around because if it’s not playing at the single screen theater within walking distance of my house, I probably can’t be bothered to go to the mall theater (remember the shopping phobia, above) to see a movie. Here’s a roundup of what I watched and what I thought.

John Carter - Disney 2012

When ads for this movie first appeared on television, my mom called me and semi-hysterically asked me,

“What the hell is Tim Riggins doing fighting dinosaurs while wearing a gladiator outfit?!”

After watching John Carter, I still can’t answer that question. But, I will say, the terribleness of this movie has nothing to do with Tim Riggins aka Taylor Kitsch and everything to do with the horrendous writing, poor editing and confusing plot. Furthermore, Tim isn’t even the worst actor in this movie—that title goes to McNulty from the Wire aka Dominic West who brings “mailing it in” to new, previously-unseen, heights.

Strangely, I do not regret watching this hot mess of a movie. (Also, how awesome is the Spanish version of the movie poster?)