Dear Googler, Volume 3

I had to fit one more of these in before the end of the year, because, you know… it’s really, really fun. 

This time, I’m highlighting some of my favorite ultra-random searches. 

“Naked Floor Scrubbing”

Y’all, I don’t know why you’re Googling “naked floor scrubbing” nor do I understand why that search term leads you to this post on Clear Eyes, Full Shelves; moreover, I do not understand why everyone searching for “naked floor scrubbing” is in Australia, but I’m sorry to disappoint folks who are landing on this nerdy blog instead of finding what you’re looking for.

All I can do is caution that naked floor scrubbing seems like a bad idea for a number of reasons, particularly if bleach is involved. 

That is all.

“Playing football in the rain.”

Yes, please. 

I am not a big football fan. I find it rather dull. I do, however, love 1) fictional football and 2) football in the rain and mud. I grew up in a small town with a big, muddy football field and that’s where all the high school games were played, and that’s my frame of reference for football. If you want to experience this for yourself, I recommend merging both fictional football and football in the rain by watching the “Mud Bowl” episode of Friday Night Lights.

“Boys Crying in Love”

Welp, guys… it happens. Boys do cry and that’s okay. Sometimes, love will make you cry and that kind of sucks, but it’s also okay, because that’s part of being human, you know?

Also, this is the perfect excuse to reference Laura’s sage advice, re: boys crying during Friday Night Lights,

@asternwarning REAL BOYS CRY WHEN THEY WATCH FNL, DAMMIT. @sarahsmoon

— Laura W. (@StretchedOctave) December 30, 2012

“Bookworm Socks”

I have some made by Gumball Poodle, sold by Sock Dreams, one of my favorite shops here in Portland. I highly recommend wearing them to book club meetings.

“Cross Your Heart GIF”

So, 90 percent of the image search results for this are pictures of unattractive bras. However, one of the results leads to this here blog, and this specific image:

I don’t think that’s what you were looking for…

“Gabrielle is Audacious”

This search leads to our good friend Gabrielle’s interview on CEFS during 2012’s Novel in Verse Week. She has an intriguing-sounding novel in verse coming out in fall 2013, but you’ll have to ask her yourself if she’s audacious or not. 

“Hysterical Crying” & “Hysterical Crying GIF”

Obviously, we’re running a very professional operation here, as demonstrated by the searches that lead people to Clear Eyes, Full Shelves. 

Here’s a selection for your enjoyment:

Until next time, Googlers, it’s been fun.