All in Dear Googler

Dear Googler, Volume 5

Dear Googler,

It's been awhile since we've posted an installment of "Deear Googler," the feature in which we answer the questions of Googler searchers who stumble upon Clear Eyes, Full Shelves thanks to the magic of search engines.

You asked, we answered.

XOXOXOX,

Clear Eyes, Full Shelves

 

Dear Googler, Volume 4

Dear Googler,

It's been awhile since we answered your questions. You have many burning questions, quite a few of are the dirty variety and we're worried that you've been left hanging all this time.

You asked, we answered.

XOXOX, ​
Clear Eyes, Full Shelves

Dear Googler, Volume 3

I had to fit one more of these in before the end of the year, because, you know… it’s really, really fun. 

This time, I’m highlighting some of my favorite ultra-random searches. 

“Naked Floor Scrubbing”

Y’all, I don’t know why you’re Googling “naked floor scrubbing” nor do I understand why that search term leads you to this post on Clear Eyes, Full Shelves; moreover, I do not understand why everyone searching for “naked floor scrubbing” is in Australia, but I’m sorry to disappoint folks who are landing on this nerdy blog instead of finding what you’re looking for.

All I can do is caution that naked floor scrubbing seems like a bad idea for a number of reasons, particularly if bleach is involved. 

That is all.

“Playing football in the rain.”

Yes, please. 

I am not a big football fan. I find it rather dull. I do, however, love 1) fictional football and 2) football in the rain and mud. I grew up in a small town with a big, muddy football field and that’s where all the high school games were played, and that’s my frame of reference for football. If you want to experience this for yourself, I recommend merging both fictional football and football in the rain by watching the “Mud Bowl” episode of Friday Night Lights.

Dear Googler, Volume 2

Oh, Googlers….  I ♥ you so much. Once again, you asked, I answer.

We get some fantastic search engine queries and, naturally, can’t help but answer these burning questions. 

What are some novels featuring MINI Coopers?

Scorched by Laura Griffin (a terrorist tries to blow up a bridge with a MINI); Yellow MINI by Lori Weber; Carrie Jones’ Need Pixies series. I’m sure there are more, but I’m stumped. Maybe it’s time to rewatch The Italian Job? 

Will True Blood get back to its roots?

I highly doubt that. Just cross your fingers for more shirtless Eric and/or Alcide

Photos of Stefan crying.

At your service:

What’s a love poem with s’mores?

Dear Googler: You Ask, CEFS Answers

The other day I was looking through the CEFS web statistics and was browsing my favorite section: search terms. 

A fascinating trend I’ve noticed is that many Googlers put their searches in the form of a question, not dissimilar from Jeopardy! Since we get a lot of the same searches, I thought I’d answer a few of these common questions.

[Note: I’ve paraphrased a number of these searches that appear over and over again. But I swear, I’m not making any of this up.]

Friggin' Great.

General Books/Recommendations

What should I read next?

Um… I don’t know. I just finished Wanderlove and adored it. Actually, I don’t even know what I’m reading next, to be honest. Maybe check out our CEFS favorites page?

What are the main themes in [book name]?

Kid, you’ve got to read the book. I’m not doing your homework for you. 

Where can I download [book name] for free?

  1. Try your library, if there’s one in your area. Some publishers participate in ebook lending.
  2. If you’re a Kindle owner with Amazon Prime, you can also access the Kindle Owners’ Library in which you can access one book for free each month; many of these are self-published books, but there are a number of traditional publishers participating as well. 
  3. Check Books on the Knob for daily deals, including freebies
  4. If you live in a community with a library (not everyone has one, sadly), you can also check out print books for free—the one in my neighborhood actually holds back new releases each week for people who come into the library (Lucky Day Books), so it’s worth actually going in the library too. 
  5. Some ebooks are lendable. If one you want read is, see if a friend will virtually lend you a book for your Kindle or Nook.
  6. Whatever you do, please don’t pirate books. 

What are some books with lots of sex?

That’s probably a question better answered by Rebeca, whose knowledge on that subject is more broad than mine (I’m trying to get her to review the zombie apocalypse polyamorous novel she just read). But, maybe try Victoria Dahl? Her books are a little much for me, but with that said, they don’t have the yucky gender dynamics that can be very problematic. (Yes, this is a very, very common search term.)

What are some books with lots of action/violence?

I’m kind of a wimp when it comes to this subject, but check out our recommendations for my friend Matt in our Book Matchmaker feature. 

I want to read an urban fantasy series with a strong female lead.

Check out these ideas!